34 Weeks!

Hello 34 weeks.  How long I've been waiting to get to here and how long it still feels until the birth.  Sometimes it feels like the time has just been dragging along and then sometimes it feels like it was just last week that I saw those double lines.  Isn't it funny how it works like that?  Today, I had my 34 week appointment.  The doctor said I have NO room in my abdomen for me, to which I replied "I know."  I really like my doctor.  She doesn't make me feel stupid when I ask questions, and she lets me complain without saying "It gets worse." That phrase by far is the most irritating phrase I think I've ever heard... EVER.  I know, it's going to "get worse".  I have 6 weeks left and I have a 4 and a half pound (or so) person in my abdomen, taking up the space that I would love to use for my stomach, lungs, intestines, and so on.  I love to feel and watch her move around, but I'm ready to eat something and not feel sick when she kicks me in the stomach (yes, she is head down and enjoys squishing my guts and diaphragm with her feet and punching my hips, bladder, cervix, as well as sticking her little elbows into my sides so that I have to press them back in. She's got very sharp, pointy limbs.).  I'm ready to sleep on my stomach and/or back again, or not have to take a nap just because I heaved myself off the couch or bent over to pick something up.  I'm ready to wear normal clothes (shirts) again, because I only have a few maternity things (I don't need more, I would just like more variety).  I miss being able to dress up cute when I go out, instead of putting on my "cute" maternity clothes and then looking in the mirror to think to myself "Wow. That was not what I was hoping for, but I guess it's the best I'm going to get."  I'm ready to not bump my stomach into counters or chairs or to feel like I'm shaking the house when I trek to the bathroom to pee at night.  I'm ready to NOT HAVE TO PEE EVERY 2 HOURS AT NIGHT!!!!!  Also, I'm ready to meet this tiny person.  I don't really blame her or anyone for the aches, pains, griefs, or any complaints that I have.  They come with the territory and I'm not going to say "She'll make them worth it." because they really aren't that bad.  Hey, at least I'm not vomiting all the time, or on bed rest, or have Gestational Diabetes.  I'm pretty lucky, actually.  Pregnant women should just get to complain occasionally without someone saying "Well, you did this to yourself" or "It gets worse."  Also, when you see me DO NOT TELL ME THAT I LOOK TINY.  I know you think that.  Trust me, for me I am NOT tiny.  I am not huge.  I don't have to waddle unless my hips and pelvis hurt.  I don't have to throw myself off the couch to stand up.  But please realize that there really is a not-so tiny person in my uterus and the reason I look so tiny is because SHE IS TAKING UP ALL MY SPACE!!! So, no, I am not tiny.  If you tell me that, I will say something rude about you.  I am normal, measuring right on track.  Just tell me I look great, amazing, fantastic, radiant, (fill in with your own pleasing adjective).
Tomorrow is the last full day with all of the kittens.  On Saturday, 3 of the boys are going to live as "shop cats" for a lady that works with Kenny.  Her husband is a farmer and they have a workshop.  They also have another cat who lives there and will hopefully teach these boys to be great mousers.  The 4th boy will go to live with them in a couple weeks.  He would be going on Saturday, too, but Tuesday, we went to the vet b/c he was acting strangely, and we discovered that he had fractured a metacarpal in his right front foot.  It's really very pitiful to see this poor guy with this giant cast on his leg.  He's doing well today, getting around much easier.  I actually found him on the top of a couch earlier, and have no idea how he got up there. 

So tomorrow I will be having my sad times and that will probably last a couple days (thank you pregnancy hormones for heightening my emotions... mainly when I'm sad or angry) and then I'll be alright.  I will very much miss these things though:

So I have to keep Jackson (the boy with the sad leg) for another couple weeks, as well as keeping his mom that long too.  She developed anemia and pancreantitis and has been on medications since last week, as well as special food.  One of the meds made her pee smell very pungently fruity.  It was bizarre, but not awful because it's better than regular cat pee.  But that has been fading out, now.  She got a vitamin shot yesterday and the vet is impressed with her progress (although she refuses to stop nursing, which is what set off the whole problem to begin with b/c she has 5 10 week old kittens who do NOT need to be nursing) and she gets another shot next week and then the week after she can probably go to her new home.  The little girl kitten, Saylor, will be moving to Idaho at Christmas to be with her new family.  I will be glad when I don't have 9 cats in my house.  It's been a great joy to watch them grow up, learn, develop personalities, and socialize them, but it's also been stressful.  My house will be grateful when there are not 5 kittens tearing around it, climbing up curtains, scattering litter across the floors, chewing up boxes, and knocking nearly everything off the tables.  If anyone wants one of the boys who is going to be a farm cat, please let me know before Saturday and I will keep him for you.  I'm going down to Hattiesburg next week, so those people are NOT excluded.  The girl doesn't care if we give her all 4 or none at all.  She just wants them to help reduce the rodent population.

Baby Girl! 32 weeks.

Tomorrow, I'll be 32 weeks.  That is very exciting! Only 8 weeks left until due date and about 4 or 5 until full term! Which means only about 4 weeks and 2 days until Thanksgiving and the start of "The Holidays!" I'm so thrilled about that. Normally, I love the winter holidays, but this year they are even more exciting! Please, baby, come BEFORE your due date!

For people who aren't friends with me on Facebook, I have been fostering a mama cat and her 5 kittens for about 6 weeks now.  They are 8 weeks old this week, and I'm keeping them for another week or 2 (not past 10 weeks).  I have found homes for the mama cat (Macy) and the only girl (Saylor).  Macy is going to live at my Bishop's house as a barn cat and have another kitty friend.  She likes other cats as long as they aren't on top of her all the time.  She would do well as an outside cat, because I can tell she lived outside for a while before she went to the shelter, but she wasn't a stray, because she loves being held and carried around.  I still have the 4 boys without definite homes, but I think I might be getting that settled, too.  All will be to their new homes by the end of the 2nd week of November, except Saylor.  Her new family lives in Idaho and my friend Tricia won't be able to take her their until around Christmas.  So, Saylor gets to stay for a while longer.  All the kittens are extremely well socialized, and though they are still working on their litter-box training, they've nearly all got that down.  They love playing with the bigger cats, which is hilarious because, though they weigh only 1.5 lbs, they seem to think they are at least as big as Sammy, who weighs 11 lbs. 

My last baby shower is November 5th.  It's a joint shower with my friend Cristi, who is a month further along than me.  After this shower, I can get the last few things that I don't have and then start getting everything in order.  I'm very excited!  There really isn't much time left until she's here. That's amazing and slightly scary.
Isn't she beautiful?

I don't really have a good title for this one.

Tuesday, I'll be 24 weeks. :) Only 3 more weeks until 6 months/3rd trimester.  I am not huge. I know this. I know there are people the same amount along as I am that are much bigger than me. I get that. You do not have to tell me that I look small. You do not have to tell me that it's bad to not gain weight on purpose while pregnant. I've never been a person that cared much about how much I weighed. I just weigh what I weigh and it's never been unhealthy for me (except when I was underweight for a while, but that wasn't on purpose, that was because we didn't eat a ton of real food after Katrina and I lose weight way faster than I gain it). I am the perfect weight for how far along I am.  Considering the fact that I've never not had a relatively flat stomach, having this amount of bulge is really cool to me! So yes, I think I am big, but I know I'm not huge and I'm glad I won't have to be uncomfortably huge for long periods of time during this pregnancy. Please, don't comment on my body other than to say "You look great!" I may just get fed up and yell at you.  I am a bit more volatile these days and I don't really care if I offend you b/c most people don't seem to remember that pregnant women also have feelings and they are actually heightened.

That wasn't really where I was heading with this post when I started, but oh well. I had a Dr appt on Thursday and was told that all my blood tests came back looking really good. I do not have an increased risk for a child with Down Syndrome, or other problems.  I had an elective 4d ultrasound the week before. My dad, Kenny, Ken, Linda, and Julie were there.  Baby Jackson is adorable and awesome!  She is very strong willed and stubborn.  That might be a good thing in the long run for her if she is just naturally born with patience, but might be a not so great thing for K and I. :-/

I just read a message board post on a website I like that reminded me of something that I've always dreaded.  Toys that require batteries.  I'll just say it simply. I HATE THEM! They are creepy and never as entertaining to the child in real life as they seem to be on the box or on commercials.  Tickle Me Elmo = weirdest creep doll ever! Things that require batteries give me the idea that they may be able to do things on their own... like kill you in the night. I know I've been babysitting before and had a random toy just start talking at me when I know for a fact it hadn't been touched for hours. Those toys get put away where they may never be found again.  I am not okay with them.  I didn't grow up with talking, light up toys, and my kids won't either.  Heck, I'm fairly sure that I played more with my sisters (out in the woods, riding bikes, or just pretending to be animals) than I did with a lot of toys.  I think kids should be able to make up their own idea of the toy and it's previous and current life.  It's not a bad thing for children to use their minds and imaginations.  I found a home video a few months ago where, at lunch time when I was probably 3 or 4, I was crawling on the floor instead of finishing my food. When my mom asked if I was done and wanted cookies I shouted back (excited not angry or rude) "I AM A RACCOOOOOONNNN!!!" and she simply said "Okay well, raccoons don't get cookies." (short story shorter, I finished my lunch so I could have cookies.)  So basically, I will never get my kids toys that need batteries to work.  I won't give my kids toys that other people give us if they require batteries.  Sorry, but it's my house and you don't have to live there with the annoying awful sounds of these things. 

Kenny is home teaching tonight, but I think I'm going to text him to see when he'll be home.  I'm hungry for dinner now.  That bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream (only green! the other kinds aren't as good) at 5 pm is not longer holding me over.  Next time, I will put pictures on here of the 4d ultrasound.

5 and a half months and the Diaper Discussion!

Well, look at me being 5 and a half months pregnant. This is how the months work:
FIRST TRIMESTER
Month 1 = weeks 1-4
Month 2 = weeks 5-8
Month 3 = weeks 9-13
SECOND TRIMESTER
Month 4 = weeks 14-17
Month 5 = weeks 18-21
Month 6 = weeks 22-26
THIRD TRIMESTER
Month 7 = weeks 27-30
Month 8 = weeks 31-35
Month 9 = weeks 36-40

I'm 20 weeks 3 days today.  My belly is larger, but not huge. My back hurts, as does my tailbone.  I feel baby move everyday. I can still lay on my stomach, if I pull my leg up.  It's too hot to do anything all the time (increased blood volume makes me hotter and way sweatier... yuck). Spinach salad with ham, tomatoes, cucumbers, and slight amount of ranch (from Subway) is the greatest food ever, as is anything chocolate or sweet! Red meat is gross. I do not want steak, I do not want burgers, I do not want heavy foods.  Ice water is the greatest thing ever, and believe it or not, juice or Kool-aid is better.  Exercise is great, but it's sooooo hot that the motivation is not really there to get out to the gym with Kenny. But, it's okay because I decided to never be pregnant in the summer, again! Not intentionally.

So, on to the diapers part.   Call me crazy, but I have decided not to use disposable diapers.  I've already had one person laugh at me.  Just to let you know, laughing at a pregnant woman is an incredibly bad idea. Everyone knows how bad disposable diapers are for the environment.  Seriously. But cloth diapers are extremely confusing and depending on what type you decide to use, they can be really expensive (although in the long run, they are cheaper than disposables).  So, even before I was pregnant, I decided what I wanted to do.  And HERE it is.  They are called gDiapers.  They are hybrid diapers, which can either be used with cloth inserts, or flushable, biodegradable inserts.  I would totally and completely prefer to use the flushable inserts, but I know I'll get some cloth ones, too.  I'm just saying this, because I know I'll get some disposables from people, but I'd really prefer this kind (not that I'm asking).  I've changed a lot of diapers in my life already, and I'd rather have this in my house, instead of the gross disposables stinking up some room.

I haven't scanned my most recent ultrasound pictures.  Sorry. Nor have I uploaded the pictures of my gender announcement cake that I did for my sister and her BF.  We sent my parents and Kenny's parents flowers, supposed to be pink, with a note that was supposed to say "Looks like it's a girl!" (From the video, we're pretty sure it's a girl, but she was stubborn and shy, so we're going to recheck again soon).  Kenny's parents' flowers showed up red, but they got the idea.  My parents' flowers showed up the correct way, but the note said "Looks like it and #39's a girl!".  We have no idea what the "and #39" mean.  It was probably just a hilarious computer mistake. I'll have to upload the pictures when I can.

Hormones, weeks, cats, and movement.

I like to think of myself as a not so emotional or hormonal person, but lately, pregnancy has been making me eat my words. It's usually only when I get angry, but I also learned recently that if a movie MIGHT have made me cry before I was pregnant, then I should steer clear of it for sure now.  Today, I was trying to teach my Sunday School class (13/14 year olds) the lesson and I got so angry that they were refusing to cooperate, participate, or even acknowledge my existence that I had to leave the room for a couple minutes to calm down, because I was on the verge of crying. We got it all worked out later, so hopefully no worried.
This Tuesday, I will be 19 weeks.  I hate when people say "Yeah, but what is that in months?" I have no idea. Only the weeks make sense to me. I'll just put it this way. There are 40 weeks in a full term pregnancy, from your last period to the due date. Yes, technically that would equal 10 months, but you're not actually pregnant until you're 4 weeks along.  It sounds very confusing, but I get it (just don't care to explain it in one blog post, nor do people really probably care). If you're interested, there is a book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It's a really good book. It explains menstrual cycles, how to get pregnant, how to keep from getting pregnant, and just how not every woman is the exact same, which is obviously true. It really enjoyed reading it. It's so much more informative than any sex ed class I ever took (although in my school sex ed was mixed in with health and it embarrassed the teacher so he just barely skimmed over it. Kind of like how my 10th grade bio teacher refused to teach us about evolution b/c it didn't go with her personal beliefs.)
Our next dr. appointment is Thursday. I wish I would remember to ask exactly what was going to happen every time, because I only remember afterwards to ask what's going to happen the next day at the appointment when I'm called to confirm, but all they can tell me is "Well, I'm just a nurse and it just says 'appointment' on my sheet." Really? That seems like it would be a fairly common question. You'd think they'd maybe put a little more information on there like "Ultrasound" or something of the sort.
I've been cat sitting for my friend this past week and this coming week. It's a lovely girl kitty named Tita.  She didn't like the other cats much when she got here, but now they're warmed up to each other. She just doesn't like when they sneak up on her, or touch her, or when she can't tell if they're playing or trying to fight. It's kind of silly. I put up a pet gate in the doorway of the room designated for her. Normally, I would just leave it open, since the door is open all the time anyway (not the gate), but Sammy (my large male cat) has a bad habit of stealing other cats food. Tita simply jumps over the gate to get to her stuff, but Sammy just sits in the hallway staring into the room very forlornly. He's never been much of a jumper. Also, Tita's litter box is in there too and she doesn't use the same kind of litter that we do (although she is convinced that any of my cats using their litter boxes means they would like to be attacked) and it smells almost exactly like green kool aid.  Don't worry, I'm not huffing cat box fumes. Blugh!
Baby Jackson has gotten to the point where I can feel it kicking from the outside now.  It likes to do it when I'm sitting down (but not lying) and particularly if I have a book or cat on my stomach. So far, the only cat to kicked is Rosie and I don't even know if she noticed. I'll put my hand on my stomach and feel it and tell Kenny to come over to feel, but of course as soon as he puts his hand on my stomach, there will likely be minimal to zero movement. One day soon, Baby, I will prove you silly and you will big enough to feel much more often and much more definitely! You will rue the day you ever played these hide and seek games with us! (Also, side note, Baby Jackson will hopefully go from being an "it" to a "she" or "he" this week. Please vote on my poll (see top of the page on the right) and let me know what you think Baby J is. If the poll won't work for you (it may only work for registered users) please leave your vote in a comment either here or on Facebook.)

Along with "You look huge".

I wrote that last blog post just assuming that the only weight (or appearance) comments I would get would happen when I was further along and looking like I was shoplifting large fruit.  I did not consider the possibility that I would get comments now.  Funny story.

The other day, K and I went to register at the new fitness center in town.  It is a part of the new addition to the hospital and since K is an employee there, he gets benefits if he uses it and reaches goals set for him by himself and the people there. So we go in and fill out the paperwork (which was actually somewhat confusing because they had not gotten all the kinks worked out of it... they had the "how much I am paying each month" left blank so I pointed it out by pretending to put in $0. Oh I am sooo witty. Not.) I had to get my picture taken for the I.D. Have you ever noticed that most fitness places require you to show and I.D. before using the facility, BUT most work out clothes do not have any pockets.  If I want to go work out, I would need keys, phone, water, and I.D. (at LEAST) these things, BUT the place does not allow any personal items to be in the work out areas.  So every time I go I have to rent a locker ($5).  If I just put my stuff into a locker without renting first, they will remove it and put it in lost and found. I find this to be lame.
Anyway, when I was filling out the paperwork, the girl asked if I had and "health alerts" they should know about. I told them "Yes. I'm pregnant." For one thing, they acted like it was nothing, that it wasn't really a restriction.  What they didn't consider (and I pointed out) is that if you are like me and you NEVER exercise, then yes, being pregnant and exercising is a big deal because if you just charge into it, you can mess yourself up (this kind of applies to most lazy, non-work out people).  So, I stand in front of the camera to get my picture taken and the girl hesitates and says "You don't look pregnant."  Gee, thanks.  "I'm 12 weeks."
When K reads this, he will probably say that she didn't mean it like that and that I'm over-reacting, but there are really things you don't say to pregnant people. I'm not just saying it to get attention, I actually am pregnant and I am more hormonal than usual. I'm good about not showing it, but unfortunately, K, you live with me and get to hear about all the dumb people.

My Expectations of Other People during MY Pregnancy.

 This is a "I gave you fair-warning" blog post. Pay attention.


I know each and every person has a different pregnancy than everyone else, AND that each pregnancy is different, even within the same woman.  I know there are people out there who act one way towards pregnant women, while others act the complete opposite.  I have found a "letter" directed at non-pregnant people and how they act towards pregnant women.  I shall now give my own interpretation of the points made in the previously mentioned letter.

1) Appropriate enthusiasm when hearing about someone's pregnancy is greatly appreciated and is really the only proper response.  If you aren't happy to hear about it, don't say anything. "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Everyone I've told about my pregnancy has done a swimmingly well with this point, so kudos to all of you wonderful people!

2) I know you have your own kids and things worked out a certain way for you, but that may not be what I want or what even remotely happens for me.  In short, I will probably appreciate your advice and opinions, HOWEVER please ask me before shoving them in my face.  I do not want to be irritated at the people I like, just because they think they know better than me.  (Exception to this point: my mother, because she is my mother, and Linda, because she is Kenny's mother and has never been "in your face" with advice to me, or rude.)  This right here is exactly why we aren't telling people the names we've picked out until after the baby is born.  For now, let's just say (as Hayden said yesterday at the reunion) if it's a boy it's "Digicom" (or something like that, it was loud in the room), and if it's a girl it's "Pikachu".

3) Please don't tell or ask me about gained weight unless I bring it up first.  This includes anything about "must be twins", "about to pop", anything with the word "swollen" in it, and even if you think I haven't gained enough weight.  I understand that people gain different amounts and that doctors recommend different things for each of the different patients.  But in general, you wouldn't ask a "normal" person about their weight, so don't do it to me.  I will ask the same back to you and act confused if you think it's weird.

4) DO NOT TOUCH ME! IF YOU TOUCH ME, I WILL TOUCH YOU BACK IN THE SAME MANNER! ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC.  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. I don't care if it's instinct for you. It shouldn't be. When you touch my belly, you are NOT touching the baby, you are touching me.  The baby is inside me. You cannot touch the baby until he/she is born.
Side note: Questions about how I plan to give birth, whether I plan to breastfeed, how I plan to diaper, etc. are all acceptable questions, as long as you accept that it is what I am going to do and do NOT try to tell me I'm wrong or change my mind.  I understand things may not have worked for you, but that doesn't necessarily mean it won't for me.  Accept it or shut up.

5) You are not invited to the birth.  You may visit me in the hospital afterwards.

6) You may not invite yourself to my house afterwards.  If you do, you will not be let in.  You may call me and ask to visit, and I may decline or accept the offer.  You may offer to bring me food, and I might accept, but that does NOT mean you may stay for a while.  If I need you, I will ask.  If you ask to stay longer, I may decline or accept your request.  Remember, this is MY child and I will want alone time with him/her and Kenny. 

These are my current rules. I reserve the right to add or remove any rules I choose.  Perhaps in a future post, I will make a list of all that Kenny and I plan to do or not do with our baby.

Naked Dancing Baby.

Tomorrow, I'll be 11 weeks along. I unfortunately don't update this as much as I should, but nothing that interesting has really happened (in the pregnancy), not in my opinion, but how I think others would see it. I've had 3 prenatal appointments and ultrasounds so far.

4 weeks 5 days.















6 weeks 5 days.















10 weeks 5 days.



I haven't had really any "morning" sickness, which, yes I know, is VERY lucky of me. I have had some nausea, and I vomited once. For the first 8 weeks of this pregnancy, I LOVED watermelon. In fact, I ate a whole watermelon by myself one week because Kenny just didn't want any. Well apparently at 8 weeks 6 days, no more watermelon for me. Before, I craved fruit. Now, I mostly do not! It's funny how vomiting can change your entire view of food. The entire 9th week was spent in Europe. I was only nausea then a few times, when we were trying to hurry to board trains to other countries, when I hadn't eaten in a while, when there was a bit too much fat on my ham (or as they call it, bacon... it most certainly is NOT bacon). A lot of places and people in France spell like pee so that wasn't fun, but it was only one day.
So I haven't been sick, but I have been soooooo tired! I take 2-3 hour naps daily (with the cats), and then still go to bed at 10 every night. I'm not getting up super late or early in the mornings, usually around 7:30. I hate sleeping in, because it feels like such a waste, when really I need to do more with my days anyway.
Yesterday, was my 3rd prenatal appointment (picture above). I made Kenny come along. He didn't want to, but afterwards, I think he was much happier that he did and he's excited to go to the next one (June 30th). Tiny Baby (apparently, that's what I call small creatures, because I call Rosie "tiny cat") was kicking it's legs and moving it's arms all around. Then it started doing head stands and stuff. It was so awesome to get to see it moving around, because I can't feel it yet. I told the doctor that we think it's a boy and she mumbled about how it very well could be, so that's exciting. I asked to hear the heartbeat. It was 155 and sounded like... an overbalanced washing machine. You know, when all the clothes go to one side and you have to open it and even everything out... that's why it sounded like. :)

Funny story to relate about my other babies, the cats. While we were in Europe, we boarded the cats at our vet. I wanted to keep all the cats together because they wouldn't do well separated for a week, and we had them put in a dog kennel, because we have a kitten who very well might explode if put in a small space for too long (she's been super energetic since I got her, starting 30 minutes after her spay surgery. Most cats take 3 hours to really wake up from that, but after 30 mins she was up and at'em). Well, they were in the dog kennel with dogs on either sides of them in other kennels. This is what I was told went down: For the first day, the all stayed huddled inside the big carrier we left for them (Sammy has to have a big carrier b/c he's huge, so we left that one b/c I knew Luna would cherish it). After that they played with their toys (K and I supplied toys, food, and blankets) pretty much non-stop and kept knocking them out of the kennel. Every time someone walked by, they would put the toys back. The cats also figured out how to jump up onto the walls between the kennels. They would walk around on top of the walls and look down at the dogs. Sammy would lay on top of the walls and totally relax. He also figured out how to get out of the kennel (jumped up on wall and then down to outside of kennels) and would lay in front of the kennels with dogs in them and tease the dogs, by putting his feet in the cage and pulling them out quickly. He would also slap the dogs in the face. The entire vet staff got a big kick out of my cats. I know they would be more than happy to let us do it again, but it will be a while. When Sammy got home, we had to close him in the hall so we could bring all our stuff in without him tripping us up. He stood by the door and cried like he was being tortured. Poor guy thought we were leaving him again. Luna seems to have gained some courage from her vet excursion, because her usual reaction to coming home from a new place is to hide under the bed. This time, she walked around, tail held high and was just super happy for days. It was adorable. Rosie is still to young to realize that we really are her family and that was just a one time thing. She was just like "Okay. Whatever, I'll get a new family because I'm adorable, and I have my big bro and sister, so I'm cool." Silly kitten isn't quite as attached as Luna and Sammy are.

April 13th 2011!

I've been charting for over a year, and we've been trying to conceive since last July. This morning I took a test, like many times before, but this time, there were 2 lines on the pink dye test. I was seriously confused because there had never been 2 lines before. So, I got out my digital tests that I've been saving until I was pretty sure they would be positive and low and behold, after waiting for the hour-glass to stop flashing, up popped "pregnant".


Kenny was in the shower (in the same room as me) when I found out, but I'm pretty sure I was in shock (and still am) because I just took a few deep breaths and went and got ready for the day. It took him forever to get out of the shower and dressed so I could give him the present. All in all, I don't think it's quite set in yet. I will be praying a lot and reading my scriptures. Luna has been following me around a lot. Today, she insists that she must be in the same room as me at all times.

Tonight is Institute. We aren't planning on telling anyone until at least 12 weeks. I will say we are very excited! K has texted me at least 8 times this morning about how happy he is! I couldn't agree more!

Today

It's March 21st, 2011.

Today, I went to WalMart and got 2 pairs of jeans shorts, and a cute Summery dress. I wore the dress all day and felt lovely. :) I decided that next time I go to Hattiesburg, I'm cutting my hair off to my chin again. I'm just not happy with it right now and it needs to go. I know that haircut looks good on me, because I've already done it before, so I think it'll be good.

We have a new kitten. Rosie. She's a little spit-fire. She'll be 10 weeks this Wednesday (she has the same birthday as Kenny's mom). She's so sweet and small. She LOVES to sleep on my lap or cuddled up with anyone, but if she can't find anybody to snuggle with, she loves out big red recliner. It makes her look even tinier. She is very curious and likes to talk and we are in the process of training her to go hiking with us. She's already very good with the leash and harness.




I watched "A Beautiful Mind" and "How To Train Your Dragon" tonight. HTTYD is definitely one of my favorite movies. Howl's Moving Castle is my favorite movie, though.

My friend Cristi texted me tonight saying she and John just found out she's pregnant. :) That is good. I'm very happy for them. I hope she can still get her surgery. Being pregnant with a broken tailbone will not be very fun at tall.

"I'll be fine."

This video sums up how I feel tonight. The body of the song doesn't really fit, because it's about his battle with Diabetes, but the chorus is perfect.




"This song is for every broken heart, for every lost dream, for every high, and for every low, and for every person who's ever felt alone. And tonight, this song, this song is for you."

Disappointed.

I know no one reads this. That's the point. Otherwise, the things discussed wouldn't be secret as they are now. I just needed to post this today because I have nowhere else to talk about it. We've been trying to get pregnant for 7 months now. It has been really disappointing. Even though I won't admit it to K, every time I get my period at the end of my cycle, I feel my hopes crushed. I've been charting for a year now and have discovered that I don't ovulate every cycle: usually every other cycle. But I can't tell in the beginning of my cycle whether I will O or not, I can only tell after the fact. I can't even tell when my fertile period would be because I don't get "those signs" (it's a bit in depth so you can just figure it out yourselves). So I just have to hope for the best. Well this past time it seemed really likely to happen, and then didn't. I keep track of my temp, so I kind of knew it might be a bust, but K was sincerely sad when I told him nope. I don't want to give him unhappy news. I want him to smile and get really excited, like I know he wants too. Today, one of my Facebook friends announced her baby's gender (boy) and another announced she's pregnant. Normally, I would be really happy for these girls, and I am. They have little miracles and blessings on their ways. But I don't. And I know more than 6 pregnant girls right now. That's a lot. I know my time will come, but I have this awful feeling that it won't. I have a feeling it's going to be really hard, and I will cry a lot, and that scares me.

I'm really hoping this post turns out to be just a blip in the emotions I have in the next year. I hope it isn't a problem and I hope it happens soon. All we can do now is keep trying, praying, and living our lives for God.

Blog Title

The title of this blog is "Just Living is Not Enough". This is from a quote by Hans Christian Andersen. The full quote is "Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower."

Hence the url name of this blog, a mix of this quote and a Harry Potter reference.

"Sunshine, daisys, buttermellow,
turn this stupid fat rat yellow!"